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Friendship Goals

Proverbs 13:20
“He that walketh with wise men shall be wise: but a companion of fools shall be destroyed.” (KJV)
“Become wise by walking with the wise; hang out with fools and watch your life fall to pieces.”(MSG)

As I read this portion of the scriptures this morning, some thoughts came to my mind. Questions that needed my answers;

* what is the worth of the companies I keep?

* are they building or destroying me?

* what influence do they have on me?

* what am I allowing into my space?

I have seen people celebrate friendship of many decades. Obviously such relationships grew over time. Friends who have grown from when they were and had nothing to become forces we reckon with and celebrate today. They’ve been there for each other; in good and in bad times, seen each other’s falls and rises, strengths and weaknesses; and I keep wondering how such friendship goals were achieved and maintained over years and what their secrets are.


If all that my friendship worth is the next Asoebi, parties, hangouts, latest shoes, bags, jewellery, movies, joints etc. then I think I am in a wrong company.
If all my friendship with you is worth is gossiping, dicing and running down other people and their hustles, then I need to run.
If all my friendship worth is me giving and giving and never receiving then I do not think I have friends.
If all that my friendship is worth has not made a better person out of me then I am wasting my time.


Now let me flip it. If I am worth only all the above and nothing more to you in our friendship then you do not have a friend in me.


The Bible in Proverbs 27:17  says “As iron sharpens iron, so a man sharpens the countenance of his friend.” Notice the Bible said iron sharpens iron not wood to iron or any other material to iron. In the context of what I am saying, friendship should be between irons or same material . Meaning we should be able to flow on the same frequency if we are friends.  My definition of true friendship is a relationship with a person or persons who share mutual affections, ideologies, interest and values. Friendship should bring about love, bonding, growth, confidence, sacrifice, respect, sharing and availability…


Looking at the life of Daniel and his friends, he had a company he could go to; to discuss, pray, share, agree, execute, and grow together. He had a company worth keeping, friends, he could count on. (Daniel 1 and 2)


Friendship should transcend beyond the chatting, jesting and partying, to better things.  We should be able to look out for each other’s interests, share investments and business opportunities, development and expansion opportunities we can benefit from, health and fitness information, information that can benefit our families and society. We should be able to have healthy chats that will cheer us up and also look out for each other’s spiritual growth which is very important. We should be able to pray for each other and be there for ourselves in our moments of victory joy, celebration, achievement, pain…


The times we spend for and with each other, shouldn’t be sapping and wasteful; but should be encouraging, engaging, meaningful and lifting void of sycophancy. We should be able to tell ourselves the truth even when it would sound unpleasant without fear of losing a friend. Sharing our dreams and progresses shouldn’t bring envy and resentment. Even when we misunderstand ourselves, there should be room for reconciliation. We forgive and move on, tell of our progress and success stories with joy and laughter and also offer our shoulders for moments of tears. When people hear our stories in the nearest future, they would know that we didn’t just emerge but we grew and progressed.


In friendship, something rubs off on you whether good or bad. If my friends are wise soon I would be like them and we all will become wiser and better. But if my friends are as the Bible calls them “fools” and “stupid “, even if I joined them better than I met them, it’s a matter of time I will be like them.


1 Corinthians 15:33
“Don’t fool yourselves. Bad friends will destroy you.” (CEV)


© Stella C. Obokoh 2020

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