If you wait for people to treat you special before you know and feel it, that day may never come. In some cases, you only get to be treated special once in a long while i.e. on your birthday when everyone around you send wishes and gifts if they remember because some don’t. Or when you are sick; so everybody rallies round you to see you back on your feet because of the things you do for them.
How you treat yourself tells people how they should treat you. A lot of times we are very busy doing many things. We get so engrossed in attending to other people that we forget that we too need care. So, when these people do not appreciate all the things we do for them we get so emotional because we drain ourselves by pouring all our care and love in attending to their needs and leaving nothing for ourselves. Ladies we are so guilty of this.
Women, we give hundred and one percent of our attention to our immediate families, friends and our endeavors… that we hardly do anything above essentials for ourselves. In fact sometimes we even struggle to do the basics for ourselves. We end up putting other people’s needs above ours and allowing our own to suffer. I know it is in us; we are wired to care, give and love. There is nothing wrong in that especially when it is a duty. A mother must care for her children. It is an obligation that she gives them the best care she can. It is good to be generous and very sacrificial; it is a great virtue to have. But it mustn’t always be done at the detriment of your own basic needs. You are equally important.
You need to start paying attention to yourself too. You also deserve to be a priority to yourself. You matter first to yourself before every other person. The truth is that nobody is irreplaceable including you. The people you think cannot not survive without you; your “they are all I have and all I am living for” will survive if you are gone. There is no room for vacuum in life. They will find a way to adjust if you are no more.
You treat yourself special when you commit to honoring your own needs too. Stop ignoring your needs and making excuses for not attending to yourself. How do you justify not giving attention to your body medically? Paying attention to your medical needs is not luxury. Don’t keep postponing an attention your body needs because you think it’s not yet serious. Don’t wait until it becomes an emergency to seek for proper medical care ladies.
Rest, Nne rest. When you are tired, what you need is rest. Stop forming super woman. People will only applaud but you are the one under pressure. You want to be the cook, drycleaner, cleaner, driver, baker, mower, farmer, tailor, hairstylist… plus your 9-5 job or business and other side hustles. Women we don’t rest. One thing I have discovered is that you can’t finish the work especially the work in your house. Do the ones you can and get assistance where necessary. You don’t need to always get to a breaking point before you rest. Consciously find time to rest. Have a time when you are doing nothing. Give it whatever name you like but rest.
What are you eating? You treat yourself special by eating right. You are what you eat, simple. If at your age as an adult you are constantly taking in Carbonated drinks, Refined sugar, Artificial colors and flavors, and Processed foods (CRAP) you are not trying, you need to advice yourself or the doctors will soon advice you. Exercise is also important. It is not only for those “wey don arrived”, those “wey wan lose weight” or those “wey dey fin shape”. Exercise is also for those who want to keep fit. At least you must fall into one of these categories. Find exercises that are suitable for you and be consistent. Even if you can’t afford a gym, use the road or your compound or your room, there must be a way if you are determined to exercise. That is one of the ways to treat yourself special
It is not frivolity when you pamper yourself especially after you have worked. A visit to the spa will not crush you. A weekend getaway or a holiday won’t be a bad idea. Hangout with friends, go see a movie, go swimming… Don’t say I can’t afford to pamper myself; that is not true. You don’t need to break a bank to do so. You can pamper yourself within your means. Find time to do something that makes you happy outside your usual routine.
A token of a special gift “from Me to Me” is a great way to celebrate and treat yourself special. You deserve it, so do it for yourself as often as you can.
If you never say it act it or treat yourself as such you will never feel it and you may never get it elsewhere. Feeling special begins with you knowing, telling and treating yourself as one. You are special.
©️ Stella C. Obokoh 2020